I’m back from the hospital – sitting at my Father’s desk, trying to process everything. A whirlwind – and process is the wrong word. Digesting is too detached. Resting is closer to the act. Reflecting is what I think I will settle on.
Reflecting….
This morning I was headed to California, I call home and get the news. A trip cancelled and a trip planned. Different clothes, different shoes, different stages of life.
Ice chips and little square green sponges on sticks. Muted TVs. Dim lights, and shared rooms. Private rooms. Late nights. Long nights. The smell of acid and iron.
Tears.
Morphine.
Rest.
Labored shallow breathing.
I’m back at my parents house now, my sisters and I will clean and talk, and laugh and remember. My parents are going to stay for a while longer.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sitting in my old room at a card table in my Father’s new “office” and Mothers Ironing center. A fresh coat of paint has covered most of the history I added over my formative years. The door however still has the old Men’s Room sign I glued to it ages ago – I’m sure they love that . . . Looking at my Dad’s bookshelf I see what he’s been reading lately: Dante, Ovid, Homer. A battered and well loved Harper Study Bible. My Mother has re-sewn and rebound it more than once I’m sure.
Do you ever pick up someone’s bible and read it? Do you ever look thru it and see what they’ve written, and underlined? Bibles are one of the few books we every write in. I’ve started expanding the practice to other books, and found the practice valuable. I see he stars chapters as he reads them, I find his own cross-references, and read the passages he’s underlined. And I begin to see a side of my Father I’ve never seen. I see that we have many of the same passages marked, and I’m marking some of his. I can tell he’s wrestled with stuff.
He’s got notes in Obadiah, passages highlighted and word studies marked with blue in Zechariah. The gospel of Mark is full his commentary.
I got to get to know this Guy better . . .
Praying for you man.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if there's anything I can do.
Neil, is your Dad all right? I haven't checked in on your blog in a while and just decided to see what was new with you and read this. I'm so sorry to read this. It's always shocking, isn't it, to get those kinds of calls? Prayers are going up for you and your family right now.
ReplyDeleteBarbara in Houston
My Dad's fine - my Grandma passed away on the 19th. Thanks for your prayers. I've got a follow up post written - I've just got to find time to type it up and post it.
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