Mixed and Muddled

I got a phone call a few weeks ago from a friend - I was asked if I was back.

"I think I am"

"I think you are too"

I'm back.

- I think.

In some ways I feel I'm the worst judge of this - and in some ways I feel as if I alone can judge this.

To be back. It's scary and odd and exciting and fun and sad. Some story's you read over and over. You read them to learn, to escape, to remember - to forget. Some story's change you - some story's shake you. Some story's - for some story's once is enough.

And without your planning it, the scenery changes. The players change. New characters, new challenges, new costumes. The stage is set. And you wait, not sure of anything.

It's so disconcerting.

The newness of everything - mixed and muddled with an odd sort of sameness, which confronts and confounds you senses. You've forgotten so much - you head swims and you feel sick.

Have you ever spent a sunny summer afternoon on a dock? Only to have the ground feel as if it is surging and swelling under your feet when you came in?

Pick a point that you know is not moving, don't look at the ground, ignore the wobbly turf. Walk it off, given time the ground will steady out.

Given time the ground will steady out anyway. Even if you over correct, trip and fall on your face - the ground will steady out - it always steady's out.

I remember once walking to the car with a friend who had the habit of folding his arms behind his back and grabbing his elbows. Jared stepped in a hole and fell - with his arms folded behind his back, grabbing his elbows. The earth was soft - I laughed, I am still laughing. The startled look on that accountant's face . . . priceless.

I had planed to right a post on how I'm learning the importance of purpose, of goals, in feeding - in creating growth.

Maturity - it's something I'm finding I need to strive for, to seek with diligence, to pursue with a plan. It's not something you step in and find on the bottom of your shoe. It takes effort. Lot's of effort.

Lot's of effort.

We - rather I - I forget that.

An effort that does not slacken. And effort when practiced grows into diligence. Diligence - one of many quiet testimonies to a man's character.

Growth takes diligence, skill takes diligence, mastery takes diligence, patience takes diligence, love takes diligence, discipline takes diligence.

~ ~ ~
On a totally unrelated note - I did some shooting which was new to me - an more of a challenge than I thought it would be - the early evening/night concert shots. Take poor and drastically changing lighting, thick crowds, and bad angles - it's hard to get shots you like.




Bonus points if you can tell me the name
of the 300 dollar scotch in the linked video


  1. I think your back Neil, not completely sure what that means though.

    Does Jared read your blog? It makes me laugh thinking about it.


  2. That's awesome. I so can see Jared doing that man.

    Welcome back.

    Miss talking with you.

    God bless you